i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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