I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
