how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
