She went from zero to smokin in five shots
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
