Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
