After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
