I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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