does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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