PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
