Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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