I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize