Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
