Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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