Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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