we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
