I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
