a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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