i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
