Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!

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(812): View more from Indiana

If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.

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(847): View more from Illinois

she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom

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(574): View more from Indiana

So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree

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(980): View more from North Carolina

when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.

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(513): View more from Ohio

This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.

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(641): View more from Iowa

What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.

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(475): View more from Connecticut

his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.

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(718): View more from New York

I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms

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