***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
