Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
third nipple confirmed
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
