He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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