I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
