I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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