More tranny stories later!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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