And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
