Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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