i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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