i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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