I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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