so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
it glows. i had to have it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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