I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
