yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
