i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
