I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
