One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
