there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize