the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
