garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
zippers are such a cool invention
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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