But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
