It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
