areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
