A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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