Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
