Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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