Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize