first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize