For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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