No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
