Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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