i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
