Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
