they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
