dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
