he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize