I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
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We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
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Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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