dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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