we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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