Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
