no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
